Nick Gangewere
Guest Blogger
On March 30th, the world will be honoring Bipolar Day, a date marked to spread awareness about Bipolar Disorder and unite people from across the globe experiencing similar issues.
At 17 years old I learned how traumatizing this disorder can be on a person. One day it can feel like you’re on top of the world with enough energy for sleepless nights and a tireless work ethic, and just weeks later your life can turn to black and white with very little thoughts, hopes and aspirations.
I have Bipolar II Disorder, and over the past 4 years I have begun my journey to understanding more about mental illness, and myself, through self-care. The same sun that I wished to set each day so I could be alone in my head is now my greatest ally, and I look forward to each and every day.
I just wish it didn’t take near-suicide and months of depression to reach that point. If you’d like to read my full story you can here.
Treatment of Bipolar Disorder is almost always a reactive process where the problems begin well before the solutions are brought. Yet there is a large group of people that never reach the solutions phase, falling victim to the disorder before help is achieved. It hits you out of nowhere, and it becomes a monumental challenge.
Each day can feel like a battle within your own mind, and as I wrote in my last WhiteFlag App blog, a simple racing thought can lead one down a dark path.
On this Bipolar Day, though, I think that it should be both a celebration of those who are learning how to live with the disorder today, as well as a tribute to those who couldn’t receive help when they needed it most. To all of those who are overcoming the turmoil, dealing with the ups and downs, or fighting to wake up each morning, you are not alone in your journey, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is a sun that will soon rise.
It is no easy feat to reach peace when your brain is battling against you, and in those circumstances suicide feels like the best option, but it never is.
It takes a certain type of person to cope with those demons, and I’ve learned you can find strength from within and from communities of people around you. Independence can mask loneliness, and the range of mood swings that the disorder brings are difficult to battle by yourself.
March 30th may just represent one day amongst the 365 that a person dealing with mental illness must live through, but I think that in order to thrive in the sunshine it takes surviving through the rain.
That is what Bipolar Disorder becomes about sometimes, just getting through the difficult moments and remembering that there are good ones on the horizon. Obviously, that is so much easier said than done, but when I give myself a sense of perspective, I feel pride and not shame.
I’m proud that I went through the dark days and found myself still standing. I’m proud that when I didn’t wish to be on this planet anymore, I scratched and clawed through the torture in order to stay with my family.
Bipolar Disorder does not define who I am, nor does it define the millions of people it impacts around the world. As Aristotle puts it, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
For anybody who is in those dark moments of their life right now, use this day as a reminder that there is hope, and with fortitude, communication and perseverance you can overcome the battles with your mind and love life again.
On the March 30th birthday of the late painter Vincent Van Gogh, there is a sun waiting to rise for you, and when it does, we can all enjoy it together. Even after the darkest night, it will be back.
We got this. Happy Bipolar Day.
With love,
Nick
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